Toddler mom truth.

The Effing Truth About Being a Toddler Mom

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There are some #truth bombs in here. Proceed with caution…

The Little Tallmans are 7, 5, and 2. I felt like I was starting to get my life under control, a little, when Tiny Tallman came along. He completed our family, and things were somewhat calm with a baby, then he became the delightful and dreaded toddler that he is.

But let me tell you the cold, hard truth about being a toddler mom.

The #truth no one wants to hear.

Here it is:

Your life will be a disaster until your kid is at least 4. If you’re lucky.

And the second half of this truth is:

The Universe will not accept you as the disaster that you are.
(You are included in The Universe.)

And this truth is due to one simple fact: if you can’t wipe your butt with the door shut (or if you can, but you can trust that there is destruction occurring while you do it), then you’re not going to be able to feel in control.

“Surely you can find 30 minutes to exercise!”

“Surely you can clean and organize your home!”

“Meal planning is easy and fast and saves you time!”

These are things that other people tell you, social media tells you, pinterest tells you, your mother in law tells you, and worse yet, you tell yourself.

I mean, you can, of course you can, do any and all of these things. You have to be highly motivated to perform those tasks, and something else has to give for you to do that. Which is perfectly fine and worth it, if you think it’s worth it. (For if you force yourself into doing these tasks to keep up with the Joneses, it will backfire eventually and you’ll feel horribly unfulfilled.)

The thing is, your day is still only 24 hours. It was 24 hours BC (before children), it was 24 hours when you were pregnant, and it will only be 24 hours when your kids are tweens and teens.

And, the reality is, if you’re a Toddler Mom, you need like a minimum 40 hour day.

(All of us Toddler Moms should unionize and demand a longer day! Ha. Ha Ha.)

So, you have to accept the disaster that you are. You have to accept your 24 hour day. The sooner, the better. You have to pick things to accomplish that will keep you within bounds of the sanity/insanity line, and you have to remember that you will not be a disaster forever with a delightful/dreaded toddler, so manage your time wisely. Perhaps by not managing it at all.

The upside? As they say, “this too, shall pass.” And I mean, of course, life is fun and hilarious and exciting with a toddler. There is that. 😀

And, as Rachel Macy Stafford says in Hands Free Life, “Happiness beats perfection. Every. Single. Time.” (p. 97)

Choose happy. Choose Love. Choose whatever it takes for you to not lose your shit.
(How’s that for a mantra? :-P)

Toddler mom truth.

As always, I write these posts for YOU, but also for ME! Sometimes I need to slap myself around a bit, because I slap myself around too much. Know what I mean?

Do you sometimes feel cray cray? Get yourself a copy of Rachel Macy Stafford’s Hands Free Life and follow along with my e-book club! Every month, we talk about a chapter. It’s easy and fast and fun and fulfilling! For me, reading her helps me take the edge off, and sometimes even more than just the edge.


  • Cheryllyn Tallman January 9, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    What???? Your mil says what??? I was a toddler mom once and there were days when brushing my teeth was an olympic feat. Your kids love you and you love them. They laugh and smile and that’s the best accomplishment you can ask for. So take a chill and have a latte toddler mama!

  • Maggie January 9, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    Oh dear. I should have texted you before I published this. I was speaking generally about MIL’s! Sorry if you were offended- as you know, you have not said these things to me. I’m very thankful for my wonderful support system!
    However, you may be missing the greater point- perhaps one’s MIL (or The Universe) has not directly said these things, but as a toddler mom, you can feel as though the world around you is just thinking you’re a disaster!

  • Susan kelsey January 13, 2017 at 12:10 pm

    Loved the toddler years ..they are busy but it passes quickly. Later you will look back and remember the joy of their inquisitive minds. Hang in there!

    • theshortesttallman January 13, 2017 at 2:34 pm

      Thank you for your comment! I think you’re right. I guess they say the days go by slow, but the years go by fast!

  • Yunhe February 23, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    I loved this post!!! I think many moms of little children can relate to this and even more appreciate that there are other moms going through the growing pains. Great job!!!!

    • theshortesttallman March 1, 2017 at 2:19 pm

      Thanks!!!! Motherhood can be very isolating, but we’re totally all in this together!

  • Colleen Schreppel March 7, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    I never knew you had a blog!?! I’ve only read a few things so far but this is awesome!! Totally the down to earth, real deal perspective on motherhood that I needed to know other moms out there felt too! And I love that it comes from someone I have personally met because sometimes when I read mommy articles online I’m like “These women be wildin!” I know that I can trust what you say 😀 (And I’m happy that I can say “I know her!” in the same fashion that Buddy the Elf says of Santa, “I know him! I know him!”) Anyway, I’m so glad I found this, can’t wait to see what’s in the archives, and what’s yet to come. Thanks for being a brave mama and sharing your thoughts!!


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