Being a Stay At Home mom is a gift. So many moms want to, but because of financial reasons, not everyone can. However, even though it’s a gift, in some ways it can be harder than working! There is a real value on having the stimulation of a work day- conversations with colleagues, working on projects, [hopefully] dealing with mature individuals- and these perks are there, even if you don’t love your job! Upon switching from working outside of the home as a teacher to becoming a SAHM, I realized that time management and keeping myself sane are two major challenges. The struggle is real, my friends! It’s not all Pinterest projects and quinoa breakfast muffins. Actually, for me, it’s neither of those!
I feel as though I had both an advantage and a disadvantage from becoming a SAHM later on, after working in my career for ten years. On one hand, I could fully appreciate the extra time I had at home; on the other hand, I felt I had to be careful that I was stimulating myself and not losing myself in my new job. I was used to socializing with adults all day, as well as going to the bathroom with the door shut.
Below are some things I’ve learned to be happy as a SAHM!
- Have a mom tribe. So important to have a support system that totally understands you!
- Make a daily schedule/routine: time management is a major part of staying sane as a SAHM. At work, my schedule was made for me, and I just had to follow it, like it or not. At first, I loved the freedom I had at home, but I soon realized that I had to maintain a level of routine on a daily basis, otherwise I just felt lost and overwhelmed.
- Make a weekly/monthly cleaning schedule: Funny, everyone thinks when you’re at home, you’ve got gobs of time. And that everyone included me before I stayed home full time! I created a daily, weekly, and monthly cleaning schedule that really keeps me in check. Do I follow it to a T? Not hardly! But at least I have a plan, and I can switch things around as I see fit. It just makes managing my home feel so much more, well, manageable.
- Have an outlet that is yours and yours alone- allow your creativity to shine. This one is big. Although spending tons of time on your kids is why moms choose to stay home, you can easily feel like you’re losing yourself. Make sure you make time for stuff that is important to you. And, maybe now is the time to spend more time on you! Maybe those knitting needles can come out here and there again, or maybe you can join that book club you’ve been wishing you could do before. Don’t feel bad about it, either- the best thing you can give your kids is a happy mom, and you definitely won’t be happy if you don’t put your own needs, wants, and desires at the top of the list.
- Take pleasure in taking care of your children and spouse. Be grateful! It is a gift! If you worked before and left your job, this will probably come easier to you. Wake up with a grateful heart, and go to sleep with a grateful heart. You have the amazing opportunity to make each day magical for you and your family; having an attitude of gratitude will help you stay positive and go about your day in joy.
- Date nights with your spouse. Don’t neglect that part of your life! Keep up on date nights regularly, this can be a source of great joy and refueling for your spirit, and of course, your relationship with your spouse is the 2nd most important relationship of your life (1st being your relationship with yourself).
- Mindfulness: Indulge in your 5 senses. You have the luxury of being your own boss, make sure you aren’t overworking yourself! The present is truly a present, make sure you are utilizing mindfulness techniques to keep you balanced and living in the moment.
- The obvious one- play with your kid(s)! Adults don’t play anymore, but now that life seems to be going at a turtle’s pace throughout your day, take the time to see life through your child’s eyes and to learn lessons (like mindfulness!) from them.
- Get out of the house at least once per day. This one was important for me, after having been out of my house every day, all day for work. Look into playgroups, daytime classes like gymnastics or kindermusik, preschool reading time at libraries and bookstores, or just go to Target!
- Make your home your happy place. You will spend a lot of time at home, and how wonderful, because “Home is where the heart is.” Think about what you favorite home décor styles are. Does your home fit that description? Hit up TJ Maxx, Tuesday Morning, or other discount stores and make your home a place that makes you happy to be in. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to greatly improve your space! I highly encourage using aromatherapy to your advantage, too. Get some essential oils and a diffuser, and voila, you can easily create an inviting space for yourself. A good starting place if you feel like your home isn’t a relaxing space for you is to read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. Your home should be filled with stuff that brings you joy, not a container of things that suck joy out of you.
- Wear yoga pants… or dress up. Know what makes you feel good. For me, it’s nice casual outfits and makeup pretty much every day. If I look sloppy, I feel like a mess. But that’s not for everyone- there are lots of put together people that feel content makeup-free and in very casual clothes. It’s all about what makes you feel good. And clothes can have a huge effect on how you feel.
- Have something to look forward to. Put items on your calendar that you can be excited about! Could be stuff from higher up on the list- date nights, yoga classes, playdates; or it could be new adventures that you go on. You have so much freedom as a SAHM, so keep things fresh for yourself!
- Have healthy snacks- that you’ll eat- in your home. You might think that SAHM’s have gobs of time to make food from scratch. You can certainly prioritize your time for that, which is wonderful! But make sure you keep quick, easy, and healthy snacks on hand at home. I had gotten into a habit in the last few years I was working of stopping at coffee shops and quick lunch places for food, so this one is tougher for me.
- Have stuff that makes you happy at home. Make sure you have little treats for yourself. You need to throw yourself a bone. Staying at home sounds like cake, but is trying in ways that working outside of the home is not. You can’t really appreciate either side until you’ve done it. Have tea time for yourself every afternoon at 3:00. You deserve it. You’ve chosen to spend your days at home, caring for your family and home, and it is an easy trap to feel like you need to be selfless all the damn day long. (And- if you are a WOHM, have tea time for yourself at 3:00, too! You deserve it, #motherhustler!)
Are you a SAHM? What tips do you have for success as a SAHM?